hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
