brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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