***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
