can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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