AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
