"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize