Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
