Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
