I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
two words: eviction party
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i out mim tonsoeep
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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