Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
