My hand turned me down
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize