she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
