yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
