There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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