Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
