How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
kristin has been a bad kristin
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
