i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize