Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
