I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
