If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
