The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
