singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
