i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
