Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
