Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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