windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
