So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
