I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
