You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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