So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize