so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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