Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
