It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
