wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Watching her eat just hurts me
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize