I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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