Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
