I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
