dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
