her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize