areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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