i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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