wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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