I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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