Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Farmville is her only friend.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
