there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize