I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he puts the penis in happiness.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
