My friends, they love my intelligence
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
