I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
