I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
