I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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