so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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