saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
