Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
