My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
