CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
A bitchslap is in order.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize