On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
