I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
