OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
