i already hear my dad disowning me
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I think I sprained my soul last night
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
